Can the Phillies be brought back to life by cloning?

Life So Far July 31, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Watching the currently on-life-support Philadelphia Phillies sleepwalk their way through this very depressing season reminds me of the 1993 film, “Jurassic Park,” which popularized the idea of cloning dinosaurs from fossils. While the technology necessary to achieve such a thing is a bit beyond what exists today, there have been a few […]
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Cosmetic surgery available from Dr. Quack in parking lot

Life So Far July 11, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Apropos of the old adage “Work to live, don’t live to work,” people are now working harder than ever to stay alive and vital for as long as humanly possible. It seems like health care is the most ubiquitous industry in America. Outpatient “wellness” facilities are literally everywhere, as are health care […]
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Get lost, Verizon! Jim likes slower speeds, more waiting

Life So Far May 30, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris I’m a little worried. Verizon has not called me for almost two weeks now. They had previously called my home every night for about two years, trying to get me to switch to FIOS. They also sent me junk mail several times a week offering me “higher speeds,” “less waiting” and “blazing […]
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Columnist/researcher finds teenage brain insane (Duh!)

Life So Far May 15, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris I am just back from the lab, where I’ve been conducting experiments on the teenage brain. At the age where many people are planning their permanent escape to the beaches of Florida, I have suddenly become the parent of a teenager for the first time. It’s an experience I can best describe […]
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Jim’s low-tech brain cannot deal with high-tech banking

Life So Far April 3, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris I woke up feeling peppy yesterday, and I had a couple of free hours, so I decided to start working on my essay, “The Flowers are Blooming and Life is Good,” but first I had to deposit a check at the ATM. The machine had previously asked me to discontinue getting paper […]
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After Crimea, is Russia going to annex Chestnut Hill?

Life So Far March 27, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris I was in the checkout line at the co-op when I looked out the front window and saw a young man with a clipboard. “Uh-oh,” I thought, “Those kids from Save The Earth are back. Make eye contact, and you’re dead.” “Hi!” they chirp. “Will you please sign our petition to Governor […]
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A new type of criminal in Chestnut Hill, soft and colorful

Life So Far March 21, 2014 1 Comment

by Jim Harris  Knitbombing, also called yarnbombing, seems to be a popular form of street art these days. A lot of places in Philly including spots in Chestnut Hill have been knitbombed, a type of graffiti or street art that employs colorful displays of knitted or crocheted yarn or fiber rather than paint or chalk. […]
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Want to be depressed? Go see Oscar-nominated movies

Life So Far March 7, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris We live in stressful times, but at least we have the movies to lift our spirits, right? Just like during the Great Depression. Shirley Temple and all that. Well, maybe not. It is my sad duty to inform you that the Good Ship Lollipop has been hijacked by Somali pirates. After watching The […]
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Columnist hootin’ about Putin, who was pollutin’ Olympics

Life So Far February 27, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris The events described as happening in Sochi are true. Vladimir Putin wanted the Olympic games to be a showcase of modern Russia’s arrival on the global stage. So how’d that go? Well, let’s see; fog, humidity, slushy slopes, feral dogs, terrorists’ threats, Ukrainian athletes leaving the games to join protests against their […]
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Snow way out of inane, repetitious TV weather reports

Life So Far February 21, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Snowed in with the family for a second straight day last week. Too dazed for another round of Scrabble, I thought I’d escape to the bedroom and catch up on some Olympic action on TV. It went something like this: “We interrupt today’s Olympic broadcast to bring you this special news report, […]
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