Snow way out of inane, repetitious TV weather reports

Life So Far February 21, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Snowed in with the family for a second straight day last week. Too dazed for another round of Scrabble, I thought I’d escape to the bedroom and catch up on some Olympic action on TV. It went something like this: “We interrupt today’s Olympic broadcast to bring you this special news report, […]
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Medals to indicate degree of gayness – ‘Putin on the Ritz’ more fun than Razz-Putin at Olympics

Life So Far February 13, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris The Olympic opening ceremonies in Sochi, Russia had a charming, home-made quality. Most of the plywood floats were either rubber band-propelled or steam-powered, but a few of the more advanced ones had huge diesel engines, which gave the whole arena a gutsy, “bus terminal” ambience. Honestly, though, I found a few of […]
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‘Hyper-Bole’ for all us tough guys

Life So Far January 30, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris My fellow citizens, as we approach another Super Bowl Sunday, I’d like to remind you that this is the most super day of the year for all Americans. In fact, “Super” is too paltry a word. The Super Bowl has the intensity of a thousand suns. Perhaps it should be called “Colossal […]
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Shelling out big money for Shelly, the foster child

Life So Far, Pets January 16, 2014 0 Comments

by Jim Harris A school around the corner was moving to a new location, and employees were not allowed to bring “personal effects.” Knowing that my family and I were suckers, er, I mean animal lovers, a teacher asked if we would mind “fostering” her class’ turtle until a new home could be found. For […]
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Even Pope Francis has to put quarters in Hill kiosks

Life So Far January 2, 2014 3 Comments

by Jim Harris As part of his new ministry, Pope Francis has been circling the globe, meeting and befriending people from all walks of life, and it seems to be affecting popular opinion. Just the other day, I heard someone say, “It’s nice to finally have a Pope who’s actually Christian.” I was lucky enough […]
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New government agency handles all political apologies

Life So Far December 13, 2013 0 Comments

by Jim Harris There was a time when politicians would sooner chew off their own limbs than accept responsibility for wrongdoing or incompetence. The usual procedure was to stonewall, blame political enemies or, in the worst case, resign, but never admit a thing. Then, at some point, the bums learned that it was possible to […]
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New government website makes politicians obsolete

Life So Far November 7, 2013 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Let the word go forth that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans — born in this century, and they are computers. We are being sucked into a vortex of circuits and switches from which we are unlikely to ever extricate ourselves. In a  recent TV ad for […]
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How on earth can you close a huge hole in the ground?

Life So Far October 18, 2013 0 Comments

by Jim Harris “The Grand Canyon is closed.” I actually heard that announcement on the radio the other day in a report about the government shutdown. My first thought upon hearing the news was, “Does God know about this?” because I’m pretty sure that He/She would not approve of Congress depriving the masses of such […]
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Would you believe a NASA launch from Chestnut Hill?

Life So Far October 4, 2013 3 Comments

by Jim Harris Space is back in the news these days (albeit on page 35) as NASA’s “Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer” (LADEE) mission wends its way to the moon for a scheduled rendezvous next week. Launched from the parking lot of the Staples store in Chestnut Hill (where most of its components were […]
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Newest NRA slogan: ‘Save Our Guns, Not Our Schools!’

Life So Far September 26, 2013 0 Comments

by Jim Harris Honey, I’m nuts! This is the cry being heard in households all across the country as Americans begin taking the new federally mandated “Home Insanity Test.” It’s all done online, and the results come back immediately. It is but the latest in a series of as yet unsuccessful attempts to keep guns […]
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