Great new crash diet: lick a few toys in daycare center

Over the Top March 6, 2014 0 Comments

by Mike Todd “It’s here! It’s here!” I yelled, nose pressed against the window. Our dog Memphis went berserk barking, which is what she does to alert us to things we already know about. It’s an annoying habit, but at least it comes from a good place. A good, stupid place. This time, at least […]
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Dad’s fate: sexist yogurt box and a four-word vocabulary

Over the Top January 24, 2014 0 Comments

by Mike Todd It was early in the morning, too early for big news, but I braced myself anyway, since the news was coming whether I was awake enough for it or not. “Big news,” said the yogurt box, “for moms who love the wholesome goodness of GoGurt Simple.” I turned the box around in […]
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Taking a bite out of Subway employee

Over the Top December 13, 2013 0 Comments

by Mike Todd I paused in the doorway, deciding whether or not to make a scene. The managers were on the far side of the restaurant, chatting to each other, not paying us any mind. “Let’s just go,” my wife Kara said, ushering our two sons to the door. Twenty minutes earlier, I’d asked one […]
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Irritated father syndrome, meet lovelorn stewardess

Over the Top November 29, 2013 0 Comments

by Mike Todd “Things just weren’t right between me and my husband, and I knew it wasn’t going to work out,” the flight attendant (formerly known as a stewardess) told me. Under different circumstances, it might have been strange for her to open up to me like that, but since we were spending the night […]
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Is Mike wise enough to be given nuclear launch codes?

Over the Top October 31, 2013 0 Comments

by Mike Todd “We’re so old!” my soon-to-be-wife Kara and I started saying after college, when we’d do things like get out of bed before noon or pay our rent on time. We’d been saying it as a joke, since we were obviously not old, but it still felt somewhat true, seeing as how, at […]
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The road to his driveway is paved with good intentions

Over the Top October 25, 2013 0 Comments

by Mike Todd We weren’t prepared for the ambush, which is what made it such a good one. The pickup truck pulled into the driveway behind us, blocking our escape route, its occupants intent on separating us from our money. I hadn’t even noticed the ringleader jumping out of the truck behind me, getting ready […]
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Cutting umbilical cable TV from your household budget

Over the Top October 4, 2013 0 Comments

by Mike Todd “Are you kidding me?” said the guy as he got in line behind me, shaking his head at the expanse of humanity between us and the service desk. I smiled and gave him a look that said either “What are you gonna do?” or “Hey, nice legs.” I’m not that good at […]
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