March 22, 2007 Issue                                       

©2007 The Chestnut Hill Local

Wyndmoor companions address interfaith issues at Sunday talk
by MARY PRICE LEE

Flo Gelo (left) and Sue Hoffman are seen here in Guatemala with Sue’s nephew, Michael. Michael and his mother, Sue’s sister, Nancy, live in Antigua, Guatemala.

We have conducted many interviews, but this one was a first: we interviewed a cell phone, lying on a table, its little blue screen looking up at us and its speaker speaking. There was a cultured and helpful lady on the other end, and another — her equally charming life partner — had welcomed us to the couple’s Wyndmoor home and was contributing her share of information. The effect was a bit eerie at first, but this article will — we hope — be helpful to readers, cell phone or no.

Susan Hoffman, 49, is Jewish. She is vice-president of community investing for the national organization, Jewish Funds for Justice. Of her work, she says, (by cell phone), “I direct programs to involve the Jewish community in lending and investing funds in low-income neighborhoods nationwide, and giving their residents access to credit.”

Her companion of a dozen years, the Rev. Florence Gelo, 57, is a Unitarian minister. She, too, is altruistic; a community minister, she serves spiritual needs as requested. “I also developed the spirituality curriculum at Drexel University College of Medicine, and I’m an assistant professor there,” she tells us. Flo is also a personal therapist in private practice who specializes in counseling cancer patients at hospitals such as Fox Chase Cancer Center and the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.

Their joint and separate altruism has no doubt been helpful in the aim they have pursued of maintaining a Jewish household. To do so, they successfully address the many issues that arise from being an interfaith couple. Sue is a member of Congregation Mishkan Shalom, serving Manayunk and Roxborough. She founded Mishkan Shalom’s Interfaith Family Group, which is devoted to helping interfaith families (with one Jewish member) solve the problems of worship and communication that can arise regarding synagogue ritual, dietary customs and meals (kosher and not). The group also addresses overlapping and dual holidays (Passover and Easter, among others), religious training for children, the degree of participation in Jewish life by the non-Jewish member of the blended family and issues raised by parents, grandparents and other members of both families.

Susan and Flo’s organization will be just one interfaith group from among the 42 synagogues in the Delaware Valley that will be participating in Faithways, the second annual interfaith family support conference sponsored by Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Greater Philadelphia on Sunday, March 25. (See end of article for registration details.) The conference will run from 11:45 a.m. to 5 p.m. at The University of Pennsylvania’s Steinhardt Hall, 215 S. 39th St. According to its organizers, the conference will bring together those affected by interfaith issues: couples, families, grandparents, rabbis, social workers, Jewish educators, Jewish communal professionals, advocates and congregational lay leaders. Highlights will include a humorous theater performance about interfaith family holidays, Two Becomes One. Keynote speakers will be Ed Case, president and publisher of interfaithfamily.com, and Dr. Carol Harris-Shapiro, assistant professor of Contemporary Jewish Studies at Gratz College. They will discuss interfaith and outreach issues and solutions. There will be ample time for those attending to participate.

Even though they expect to learn from the conference, Susan and Flo could teach from their own experience. From her ministerial perspective, for instance, Flo Gelo offers this comment: “The skills and integrity that people bring to the table are as important in negotiating faith [issues] as in negotiating any other aspect of their lives.”

Another point Flo emphasizes in addressing interfaith issues is this: Jews are a minority in the majority Christian culture. They were victims of the Holocaust. The minority issue, among others, becomes a part of interfaith relationships. This happens especially at Christmas, when the majority culture dominates from before Thanksgiving to the end of December. There is the parallel issue of sensitivity to anti-Semitism.

Following precepts of Jewish life can pose problems for non-Jews, unless questions and issues are dealt-with compassionately and sometimes creatively. Susan says, “The non-Jewish partner does not automatically know the degree he or she may participate in Jewish ritual, as at a bar or bat mitzvah.” Of course, this has its counterpart in Christian worship as well; one must be told what can or cannot be done; it’s all part of interfaith in action.

The two Wyndmoor residents agree that interfaith activity strengthens those who participate. “A person devoted to interfaith understanding comes up against something different, and if that difference is approached right, it can help that person to define himself or herself,” says Flo. To which Sue adds: “The Jewish partner often finds his or her Judaism has been strengthened by having to explain Judaism to others.”

The couple’s experience demonstrates the contentment that can come from understanding and acceptance. When they first met, Sue invited Flo to visit Israel. Flo saw what it would be like to live in a majority Jewish community. She says Israelis were hospitable and welcoming. On their trip, the ladies were on a street corner and started talking to a woman they didn’t know. “She invited us to her home for dinner; here we were, total strangers,” Flo says. “We exchanged phone numbers. But even Sue was a bit shocked we had been invited; we were too shy to go. Later, the lady called us. ‘Where were you?’ she asked.”

It is this openness, this welcoming, that has made their interfaith life work so well. At Congregation Mishkan Shalom, both ladies help prepare Seder dinners and Easter Day lunches for their interfaith families. (These are sometimes kosher for Passover.)

The Faithways Conference on Sunday, March 25 is $45 per person, $75 per couple, $36 for students and seniors. To register or for details, call 215-496-9700 ext. 121 or send email to info@jfcphil.org.