What began as a festive Fourth of July in 2017 became the darkest day for Kimberly Kamara when police informed her that her only son had been killed.

Niam Johnson-Tate, 23, of West Johnson Street, was murdered in an incident that remains unsolved. The Mt. Airy resident left behind a 3-month-old son. Johnson-Tate’s organ donations saved seven lives.

"People don't know how to talk to someone whose family member was murdered," Kamara said. "It's awkward. Some people you were close to are not close anymore."

Although words are insufficient to describe the pain and trauma that invaded Kamara's life that day, somehow she has found a way to share her experiences by writing about them - and also by chronicling the lives of others.

In 2018, Kamara wrote a poignant, heartbreaking children's book entitled “Where's My Daddy?” which is primarily aimed at children who have lost a parent to murder, which has become an agonizingly high number. Kamara also writes obituaries and “think pieces” for the Philadelphia Obituary Project website, which has been running articles about Philadelphia victims of gun violence since 2016.

The inspiration for the book came on a day when she was babysitting her grandson, Johnson-Tate’s son. “He reminds me so much of my son,” Kamara said. “I knew he would be asking me where his daddy is.” Kamara wrote the book and created a coloring book to go with it. She is now working on her second book, which is about her son. 

Kamara’s pieces for the Obituary Project, although sad, offer a measure of comfort to family members of the victims. “They thank you,” Kamara said. “They want to send the article to as many people as possible. They will cry and say they could not believe they had to go through this. But I am not just a columnist. I am a mother who lost a child.” 

Kamara, a Dobbins High School graduate who has always lived in Mt. Airy or Germantown, recently left her job at The Salvation Army after 20 years and plans to open a home care agency soon. She has two daughters, Eboni, 34, and Jalisa, 33. Her husband, Kesselle, works for a private sector company.

“I just got out of the hospital myself because of a heart problem,” she said. “That is one reason I quit my job. The job takes so much time away from my family. My mom is 76, and she has had open heart surgery. She lives in Mt. Airy normally, but she has moved in with me so I can care for her, and it is a big adjustment for her.”

One of Kamara's compelling essays for the Obituary Project is about how one rejoins the world after the murder of a loved one. She writes,  “For years I distanced myself from others after my son’s murder. I felt sorry for myself, I felt ashamed, I felt scared and in shock. I constantly worried about what others thought and said about my family. I felt safe in the confines of my home. I didn’t want to answer questions. I didn’t want to hear comforting words that people always would say, like 'God won’t put more on you than what you can bear.' I wanted to control my little world, and I did, but was I living life?”

The essay continues, “I learned to be kind to myself! That’s the first thing. It can be as simple as forgiving yourself and stop blaming yourself. Stop asking the question, 'Why?' Stop avoiding people. Get back into your social life one step at a time, one gathering per month until you feel you can do more. Learn to laugh again and not feel guilty because you are laughing and learning to live again. I know it’s hard, but you can do it.”

You can contact Kamara at kimberlykamara1231@gmail.com. Len Lear can be reached at lenlear@chestnuthilllocal.com.