On the one hand, the just-released “Backstitching Life's Fabric; My Journey of Creative Healing,” by Glenside author Lillian Gaffney, is a quick, compelling read. I read the 267-page book in one recent weekend. On the other hand, it is a difficult, at times painful, book.

Gaffney’s memoir is filled with suffering by Gaffney and her adult children. They reach out again and again for help but are so debilitated by addiction that a happy ending seems unlikely.

Nevertheless, Gaffney's conquest over her own depression will, one hopes, encourage others to keep struggling, whatever the odds, to untie the Gordian knot of drug dependency.

Gaffney, 73, a survivor of her own addictions, has persevered through so many setbacks and tragedies — physical (brain surgery and three episodes of spinal meningitis, among others), psychological, and familial — that her very survival is a testament to her courage and determination. 

She is also a Jill-of-all-trades: a hairstylist for 20 years, a public speaker, life coach, salesperson of cemetery plots, deli worker, telemarketer, and author. Her healing journey began with the 12-Step Foundation, numerous 10-day workshops and six years of dedicated work with Emotional Processing, a system of recognizing emotional triggers and finding therapeutic ways to regulate them. 

Writing her way through

Gaffney previously authored “Rising Up: A Journey of Addiction, Hope, Courage and Love.” She told the Local, “What motivated me to write the second book was that I was experiencing some emotional turmoil, and my instincts took me to the place I needed to go for deeper healing. The writing of this book was very therapeutic. Writing is a safe place to release emotions, process thoughts, gain insight and clarity. It is also an expression of creativity, one that only you can tell from your perspective.”

The book retells countless episodes in which Gaffney's late daughter Jaime returns to her addiction after rehab or jail. Lillian, who has maintained sobriety for 24 years, is a modern-day Sisyphus pushing the boulder of drugs up a steep cliff only to have it roll back on her.

“The chaos that comes from addiction is beyond belief,” Gaffney writes in the book of trying to get addicted people into rehab facilities. “Between finding an open bed, getting them ready to go and the actual transition is a frantic sight to see. It takes stamina on the part of the one helping just to remain patient and calm with all the transactions between the facilities, drivers, the one being admitted, and the dynamics of what it does to the core family members.”

Gaffney,who is currently working on a third book, lives in Glenside with her husband of more than two decades, grandson, son, and dog. 

“Yes, my son lives with me,” Gaffney said. “We all have our way of grieving loss. This loss of his sister and his girlfriend three months before that [of medical complications from drug abuse] altered his well-being. Grief changes us.”

“If I had to do it all over again,” Gaffney reflected, “I did everything a mother could do to help Jaime, and so did Jaime. I would have changed the system if I could. My daughter wanted help; she and I both actively sought help continually. Addiction is a powerful and cunning disease.

“My advice to any parent who has a child struggling with substance abuse is to love them regardless, seek help for yourself to help cope and be a positive role model.” 

For more information, contact Gaffney's Facebook page or email lillian_gaffney@yahoo.com. Len Lear can be reached at LenLear@chestnuthilllocal.com.