John Edward “Jay” Flaherty Jr., an attorney, former deputy mayor, Vietnam veteran and master gardener, died Feb. 9 as he was surrounded by his loving wife and three children.
Flaherty was 79 and lived in Chestnut Hill for 40 years. The cause of death was cancer from exposure to the defoliant Agent Orange during his time in Vietnam from September 1969 to August 1970.
Flaherty was born in Wilmington, Del. He was the oldest child in a house with five younger sisters and had a passion for baseball, rugby, poetry, literature, writing and friendships. Two summers spent working in construction gave him a deep and lasting appreciation for those who made a living doing physical labor.
Flaherty attended Exeter Academy and Yale University, where he majored in English and met Nanie Walsh. He graduated in 1967 and joined the Army out of a sense of duty for his country and fellow man.
Jay and Nanie got married in 1969. They moved to Washington, D.C. where Flaherty went to Georgetown Law School. He felt out of place on a college campus as a veteran with short hair and a jungle tan.
After law school, Jay and Nanie moved to Swarthmore in 1973 before relocating to Philadelphia, first on Van Pelt Street and then Pine Street before settling in Chestnut Hill, where they raised three children, Eugenie, Doyle and Kate.
Flaherty worked in commercial litigation at Dechert, Price and Rhoades from 1973 to 1980. He then went to work in the city solicitor’s office, where he was the lead counsel on a case challenging the 1980 census count that went to the U.S. Supreme Court.
After the 1985 MOVE bombing, Flaherty went to work as deputy mayor for Mayor Wilson Goode, where he tried to address the city’s complex municipal and financial challenges during a particularly difficult time at City Hall.
Flaherty returned to Dechert in 1988, where he focused on governmental and environmental regulations before retiring in 2006. He then formed a company with friends and former colleagues to clean up and redevelop polluted properties.
Over the years, Jay and Nanie hosted legendary Thanksgiving gatherings at their house, where dozens of family and friends would engage in laughter and long conversations. Jay, who was affectionately known as Papa, would prepare a speech that highlighted births, weddings and the year’s momentous events. He began the remarks by blowing into a horn made of wood from a tree on the property.
Jay’s love, support and friendship left a lasting impact on his children.
Jay’s oldest daughter, Eugenie Cheney, recalled finally making it to the grownups table and hearing her father talk about the difficult transition from Vietnam to a college campus when the country was divided by the war.
“I think it was one of the first times I began to comprehend how much his experience had separated him from many of his lifelong peers. But there was no self-pity, just a matter-of-fact statement of how it had been,” she said. “That defined my father, a deep belief that each individual has a responsibility to their community.”
Kate Ferrell, Jay’s youngest daughter, said she was a bit of a handful as a teen, but her father continued to show her love and support. “The unconditional love that I learned from my father now serves as a model for my own relationship with my children,” she said.
Jay’s son, Doyle, recalled that his father drove Dodge minivans for 40 years, moving from car seats to transporting teens to sporting events to moving the kids into college before using it to haul plants and mulch to his beloved garden.
“He was far ahead of the curve in the dad-car realm,” Doyle said.
In the early years of his retirement, Flaherty competed in triathlons, bragging that he “had done well for his age group.” Jay and Nanie became interested in pilgrimage trails and went on hikes in the Pyrenees to Santiago de Compostela as well as in Italy, France, Spain and Greece. Their last hike was in 2023 in southeastern France, along the coastline from Menton to Marseilles.
Nanie and Jay also traveled to Japan (to visit a child working there), Saudi Arabia (to visit a child living there), Tunisia, Peru, Turkey, Egypt, Israel, Paris, South Africa, Cuba, Myanmar and often England (to visit a child living there). Every winter they spent several weeks in Key West, where Jay nurtured his love of art and music. Jay enjoyed a wide range of music from blues, country, reggae, rock and jazz. He loved to dance.
Flaherty’s other big passion was gardening. He turned the 1.5 acres surrounding their Chestnut Hill home into a showcase of native plantings and pollinators. Jay spent hours planning vistas, balancing colors, and nurturing plantings.
During the Covid years, he met many walkers passing by, eager for interaction and thoughtful conversation. During his final days, Jay looked out a window into the setting sun, which he could see through the beautiful branches of a crepe myrtle, and remarked on the beauty of the wind moving through the branches.
Jay is survived by Nanie, his wife of 55 years, and his three beloved children: Eugenie Cheney (married to Christian Cheney, Brooker 14, Whitlow 13, and Marshall 11), Doyle Flaherty (married to Victoria Lonsdale, Charlie 6 and Alexandra 3) and Kate Ferrell (married to Mike Ferrell, Tuck 9 and Cole 7). He is also survived by four sisters; one sister died previously.
Donations may be made to the Veterans’ Multiservice Center (213-217 North 4th Street, Phila., PA 19106) or the Chestnut Hill Garden District Fund (10 E. Springfield Ave., Philadelphia PA 19118).
